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40 Animal Puns that will quack you up!

Hilarious animal puns which will leave you with a smile on your face - whether you are after cat, dog, cow, bear or even crab puns, we have them all!

  1. Why do cows wear bells? because their horns don't work!
  2. I'm having a ruff day. Don't terrier self up about it. There's sure to be a pawsitive outcome!
  3. Why are most horses so slim? Because they are on a stable diet!
  4. Why didn't the crab share it's toys? It was too shellfish!
  5. What does a grape say when it gets stepped on? Nothing, it just lets a little wine!
  6. I went to the zoo today, there was only one animal. It was a shitzu!
  7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
  8. I watched a documentary about beavers last night. It was the best dam show ever!
  9. A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses inside him. The doctor described his condition as stable!
  10. When Noah was loading the ark, where did he put the bees? In the ark-hives!
  11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
  12. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
  13. These giant squid jokes are kraken me up!
  14. Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs? Because she mislaid them.
  15. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
  16. Have you ever heard of an honest cheetah?
  17. Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
  18. I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie ever.
  19. What do you call an alligator with a vest? Invest-igator.
  20. By shear coincidence, all these sheep look the same.
  21. Pig puns are so boaring.
  22. Which day do chickens hate the most? Friday.
  23. I'm so purrfect that whenever I meet a pretty girl, I whisker away.
  24. The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line
  25. When I asked my dog how his day was he said it was rough.
  26. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
  27. What happens when a sheep, a drum and a snake fall from a cliff BA DUM TS.
  28. I've got a chicken-proof front lawn. It's impeccable!
  29. What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam
  30. What's a cow eating grass? A lawn mooer.
  31. How does a farmer count cows? With a cow-culator
  32. Cuddling a cat usually leaves you feline good.
  33. The duck was in rehab because he was a quackaddict.
  34. A bear was killing moose for entertainment but in the end he wasn't amoosed.
  35. I hate insects, they really bug me.
  36. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
  37. Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they're shellfish.
  38. My friend was annoying me with bird puns but toucan play this game.
  39. We call our dog Rolex, since he’s a watchdog.
  40. What would bears be without bees? Ears.