He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
My grandma is on speed dial and now I call her instagram.
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty... but he had a great fall.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
I love the F5 key. It's just so refreshing!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
Coming up with weather puns is a breeze.
I used to have a fear of hurdles…but then i got over it.
People who plug their computer keyboards into hi-fi systems aren't idiots. That would be stereotyping.
Don't drink with ghosts, they can't handle their BOOs.
You measure a Lego mini-figures foot size in square feet.
Six out of seven dwarves aren't happy.
There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents!
Tennis players can never find happiness. Love means nothing to them.
Simba was moving slow, so i told him to Mufasa!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?
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