I love when candy canes are in mint condition.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die!
If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic.
I think every morning that I'm going to make pancakes, but I keep waffling.
The majority of people find bananas a peeling.
I was going to grow some herbs but I couldn't find the thyme..
Turning vegan is a big missed steak.
A guy just threw milk at me... How dairy?!
When life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.
I went to a peanut factory last week. It was nuts!
I have to eat breakfast without toast because I'm lack-toast intolerant.
The raisin wined about how he couldn't achieve grapeness.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
I went to a seafood party last week... I pulled a mussel.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast
I bet the butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said the steaks were too high.
Cheese. Its grate for you.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
When two vegetarians are arguing, is it still considered beef?
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.
Stealing someone's coffee is called mugging.
I wrote a song for a tortilla. Well, its more of a wrap.
What does a grape say when it gets stepped on? Nothing, it just lets a little wine!
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. But I've never met herbivore!
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