I wanted to be an astronaut but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.
I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid but my parents told me the sky was the limit
I don't think I need a spine. It's holding me back.
A man died today when a pile of books fell on him. He only had his shelf to blame.
I make apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
The cost of the space program is astronomical.
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
Organ donors put their heart into it.
Rest in peace boiling water, you will be mist.
What happens when four children lock themselves in a wardrobe? That's narnia business..
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
If it wasn't for physics, I'd be unstoppable
My friend really changed when she became vegetarian, it's like I've never seen herbivore
An expensive laxative will give you a run for your money.
I never understood odourless chemicals, they never make scents.
A rubber band slingshot was confiscated in algebra class for being a weapon of math disruption.
The painter was hospitalized due to too many strokes.
People who plug their computer keyboards into hi-fi systems aren't idiots. That would be stereotyping.
It's true I don't like soap, but you don't have to rub it in my face!
He wears glasses during math because it improves division.
My dyslexia has just hit a owl.
I was addicted to soap... I'm clean now.
Never trust an atom, they make up everything!
When I found out that my microwave wasn't waterproof, I was shocked.
When two vegetarians are arguing, is it still considered beef?
Six out of seven dwarves aren't happy.
Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandma called to see how he was a nurse said "No change yet."
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients.
Do hungry time-travellers ever go back four seconds?
So the router says to the doctor? It hurts when ip!
A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses inside him. The doctor described his condition as stable!
I gave away my dead batteries - free of charge.
Why do they put fences around cementeries? Because people are dying to get in!
What did the triangle say to the circle? You're so pointless.
When you get a bladder infection urine trouble!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.
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