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List of 45 Funny Jokes about Magicians, Magic & Witches

Last Updated: October 29, 2023

A selection of funny magician, magic & witch related humor. These jokes are your secret spells for making friends and family burst into laughter, or they can work their magic as clever Instagram captions."

Jokes About Magicians

  1. I used to be friends with a magician, but we had to stop hanging out. He kept disappearing on me!
    magician joke about disappearing
  2. Why did the magician bring a ladder to the show? He wanted to see what was up the rabbit's sleeve.
  3. How do magicians stay cool in the summer? They use their sleight of fan!
  4. Why don't magicians ever play hide and seek? Because they always disappear when you're not looking!
  5. Why did the magician bring a broom to the show? He wanted to sweep the audience off their feet!
  6. What's a magician's favorite kind of tree? The palm tree, because they're great at hiding things in their leaves!
  7. Why don't magicians play cards in the wild? Because there are too many cheetahs!
  8. What's the difference between a magician and an iPhone? The iPhone has 32 gigs...
  9. I once saw a magician make a stick of butter disappear. It’s wasn’t a great trick but it was butter then nothing.
  10. What's the difference between a pizza and a magician? One can feed a family of four!
  11. A good magician's assistant is hard to find. They're highly sawed after.
    funny magician related joke
  12. I know this one magician that keeps using trap doors in his act. It's just a stage he's going through.
  13. What's the difference between a magician and his deck of cards? The deck of cards has four suits!
  14. What’s the difference between a magician and a savings bond? A savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.
  15. Did you hear about the angry magician? He pulled his hare out.
  16. What do you call a magician on a plane? A flying sorcerer!
  17. How many magicians does it take to do magic? Just one will do the trick.
  18. What do you call a magician who has lost their magic? Ian.
    joke about a magician who lost his magic
  19. A Mexican magician was doing a magic show. He said "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.
  20. Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate? He had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
  21. I never saw the magician’s spell book. He kept it under warlock and key.
  22. Why did the magician take a bath? So he could clean up his act.
  23. I was fired from my job today as a children’s magician. Apparently, when I make the kids disappear out of thin air, I also have to make them reappear.
  24. I'm like a magician, I make things disappear, like my money.
  25. Last week I saw a magician walk down the street. He turned into a supermarket.

Magic Related Jokes

  1. Did you hear about the magic tractor? He went down the road and turned into a field.
    Magic Tractor Joke
  2. I showed a mime a magic trick. He was speechless.
  3. What do you call a magic owl? HOOT-DINI
  4. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
  5. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  6. My son asked me to make him a paper airplane. I tried all the magic I know but he’s still just a boy.
    Magic paper airplane joke
  7. What kind of magic do cows believe in? Moodoo.
  8. What school of magic does a giraffe practice? Neckromancy.
  9. What do you call a bee with a spell on him? Bee-witched.
  10. What do you call a large bird that practices dark magic? An ostwitch.

Witch Jokes

  1. The problem with twin witches is that you never know witch is which.
    witch is which witch joke
  2. Why did the witch go to the doctor? She had a dizzy spell.
  3. I went to witch school when I was a kid. I didn’t love it. All we did was spell.
  4. How long do witches ride broomsticks for on cold nights? For just a short spell.
  5. What happens if someone sees a magic crime? They enter the Witches' Protection Program.
  6. What do you learn at witch school? Spelling.
    witch school joke
  7. How do you make a witch scratch? By taking away the 'w'.
  8. What do you call witches who live together? Broom-mates.
  9. What do you call a nervous witch? A twitch.
  10. What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future? Witchful thinking.

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