List of Funny PunsLast Updated: March 27, 2021
Funny puns are a great way to make somebody laugh, they are a type of funny word play which relies on words that have multiple meanings. This list contains a variety of clever, short and corny puns which have been selected to make you laugh. Pun.me has been providing puns on the internet since 2015 so we sure know which puns are the funniest!
Updated weekly by your votes!
This list contains 100+ funny puns and is ranked by your votes! You can click the thumbs up and thumbs down buttons to vote on puns that you find funny, this will help us improve the list to contain only the best puns. Every week we'll add a selection of funny puns and we will also update the order of the page to reflect your votes.
Top 10 Funniest Puns
The puns below are the funniest 10 puns, as voted by you as the best puns that we have.
- Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
- A man died today when a pile of books fell on him. He only had his shelf to blame.
- I tried to make a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
- Thanks for explaining the word 'many' to me, it means alot.
- Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
- It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
- Weight loss pills stolen this morning - police say suspects are still at large.
- A criminals best asset is his lie ability.
- Stop with the blind jokes...I dont see the point.
- When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.
Newly Added Puns
Each week we will add new pun in this section which have been submitted to us or we have found them ourselves to share. Vote on the newly added puns if you think they deserve to be on our list of the funniest puns, if a pun gets enough votes we'll add them to the page.
- My new diet consists of aircraft, however its a bit plane.
- Tight leather jackets are hard to pull off.
More Funny Puns
The remainder of the funny puns on these page didn't make the top 10 but are all still great and worth reading for a good chuckle.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
- If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.
- How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
- Did you hear about the man who lost his left side? He's all right now.
- I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. It turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time!
- How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.
- I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients.
- The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line
- What do you call a pig who does karate? Pork chop!
- She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
- For a fungi to grow you must give it as mushroom as possible.
- He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
- I make apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
- Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
- I should have been sad when my flash light batteries died, but I was delighted.
- I don't trust stairs... they are always up to something.
- My wife told me to stop speaking in numbers. But I didn't 1 2.
- Why didn't the crab share it's toys? It was too shellfish!
- Please don’t make my funeral too early. I’m not really a mourning person.
- Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. But I've never met herbivore!
- When he proposed to her, she found it very engaging.
- Ed has no girlfriend because Sheeran away.
- I used to be a shoe salesman until they gave me the boot.
- Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
- When I asked my dog how his day was he said it was rough.
- Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.
- My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
- Life as a yo-yo has its ups and downs.
- I tripped over my girlfriends bra, seemed to be a booby trap.
- I've got a chicken-proof front lawn. It's impeccable!
- The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
- I asked a Frenchman if he played video games, he said wii.
- I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
- I use to be a baby but I grew out of it.
- Did you hear about the kid napping? He woke up.
- Yesterday a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty... but he had a great fall.
- I'm going to stand outside, if anyone asks where I am tell them I am outstanding.
- I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my property over the weekend, my neighbour is dead against it...
- My room mates are concerned that I'm using their kitchen utensils, but that's a whisk i'm willing to take.
- If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is not for you.
- A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
- There's a new type of broom out, it's sweeping the nation.
- I hate carrying my luggage around the airport, I rest my case.
- What is Forest Gump's facebook password? 1forest1
- An expensive laxative will give you a run for your money.
- My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said only mails work here.
- I wrote a song for a tortilla. Well, its more of a wrap.
- He wears glasses during math because it improves division.
- A rubber band slingshot was confiscated in algebra class for being a weapon of math disruption.
- The painter was hospitalized due to too many strokes.
- If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet!
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- You didn’t hear about the three big holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
- My grandma is on speed dial and now I call her instagram.
- After the birth of your first child, your role in life will become apparent.
- I was addicted to soap... I'm clean now.
- I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
- Jokes with punch lines can be painfully funny.
- Pun of the day is very important. As seven days without a pun makes one weak.
- My friends say I'm getting fatter. In my defence I've had a lot on my plate recently.
- She didn't marry the gardener. Too rough around the hedges.
- A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
- I've been thinking about learning Braille, but its a bit of a touchy subject.
- Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die!
- Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
- A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
- It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
- Shout out to people who don't know what the opposite of in is!
- What's a cow eating grass? A lawn mooer.
- I use to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me!
- Cows lie down in the rain to keep each udder dry.
- Go to Italy, Rome around and pasta time.
- I couldn't figure out how to put my seatbelt on, but then it clicked.
- It's true I don't like soap, but you don't have to rub it in my face!
- I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie ever.
- I'm going to buy some velcro for my shoes instead of laces. Why knot?
- The butcher walked backwards into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, I'll serve you, but don't start anything
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
- He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
- I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
- Why do they put fences around cementeries? Because people are dying to get in!
- My friend told me ten puns to try to make me laugh. No pun intended.
- Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.
- I removed the shell from my racing snail to make it go faster - but it just made it more sluggish.
- I don't think I need a spine. It's holding me back.
- What happens when a sheep, a drum and a snake fall from a cliff BA DUM TS.
- By shear coincidence, all these sheep look the same.
Share your funny puns with us
Do you know a funny pun that is not on this list? Send it to us via our submission form and if we find your pun hilarious we will add it to this page!