List of the 100 Funniest Puns as ranked by you

Last Updated: June 10, 2025

Funny puns are an excellent way to bring laughter to someone's day. They are a form of clever wordplay that hinges on words with multiple meanings. This list features a delightful assortment of witty, concise, and sometimes corny puns that have been handpicked to ensure a good laugh. Pun.me has been serving puns on the internet since 2015, which means we have a knack for finding the funniest puns!

Updated monthly through your votes!
This list comprises 100 humorous puns and is ordered by your votes. Feel free to click the thumbs-up or thumbs-down buttons to cast your vote on the puns that tickle your funny bone. Your input assists us in refining the list to feature only the best puns. With every update, we will introduce a fresh selection of humorous puns and adjust the page's order based on your votes.

Top 10 Funniest Puns

Below, you'll find the top 10 puns, voted by you as the very best puns we have.

A man died today when a pile of books fell on him. He only had his shelf to blame.
Thanks for explaining the word 'many' to me, it means alot.
My room mates are concerned that I'm using their kitchen utensils, but that's a whisk i'm willing to take.
When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.
A criminals best asset is his lie ability.
Weight loss pills stolen this morning - police say suspects are still at large.
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
Stop with the blind jokes...I dont see the point.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is not for you.

Newly Added Puns

Each month, we will introduce new puns in this section. These puns have either been submitted to us or discovered by our team. You can cast your vote on the newly added puns if you believe they deserve a spot on our list of the funniest puns. If a pun accumulates enough votes, we'll include it on the page.

Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I try not to tell dad jokes. But when I do, he thinks they’re really funny.

Puns to be Removed

The puns listed below have consistently received downvotes over the past few weeks. If you still find them funny and believe they should remain on our list, please give them a thumbs-up. If you think they should be removed, vote them down. If these puns continue to be disliked by your votes, we'll remove them from this list.

I can't count how many arithmetic tests I've failed!
Ran out of toilet paper and having to use lettuce leaves. Today was the top of the iceberg.

More Funny Puns

The remainder of the funny puns on these page didn't make the top 10 but are all still great and worth reading for a good chuckle.

It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
She didn't marry the gardener. Too rough around the hedges.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my property over the weekend, my neighbour is dead against it...
For a fungi to grow you must give it as mushroom as possible.
I hate carrying my luggage around the airport, I rest my case.
If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.
It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty... but he had a great fall.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. But I've never met herbivore!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. It turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time!
An expensive laxative will give you a run for your money.
How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
Why do they put fences around cementeries? Because people are dying to get in!
Did you hear about the kid napping? He woke up.
My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said only mails work here.
I wrote a song for a tortilla. Well, its more of a wrap.
Did you hear about the man who lost his left side? He's all right now.
He wears glasses during math because it improves division.
He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients.
How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
I make apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
I used to be a shoe salesman until they gave me the boot.
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
When I asked my dog how his day was he said it was rough.
The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line
I should have been sad when my flash light batteries died, but I was delighted.
Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.
I removed the shell from my racing snail to make it go faster - but it just made it more sluggish.
My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die!
I don't trust stairs... they are always up to something.
My wife told me to stop speaking in numbers. But I didn't 1 2.
I've been thinking about learning Braille, but its a bit of a touchy subject.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
I tripped over my girlfriends bra, seemed to be a booby trap.
My new diet consists of aircraft, however its a bit plane.
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
I've got a chicken-proof front lawn. It's impeccable!
Shout out to people who don't know what the opposite of in is!
What's a cow eating grass? A lawn mooer.
I use to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me!
Cows lie down in the rain to keep each udder dry.
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
I asked a Frenchman if he played video games, he said wii.
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet!
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
You didn’t hear about the three big holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
I couldn't figure out how to put my seatbelt on, but then it clicked.
I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie ever.
My grandma is on speed dial and now I call her instagram.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
I'm going to buy some velcro for my shoes instead of laces. Why knot?
The butcher walked backwards into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, I'll serve you, but don't start anything
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
After the birth of your first child, your role in life will become apparent.
I was addicted to soap... I'm clean now.
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
Jokes with punch lines can be painfully funny.
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
I don't think I need a spine. It's holding me back.
I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
Pun of the day is very important. As seven days without a pun makes one weak.
I tried to make a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
Yesterday a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester.
Please don’t make my funeral too early. I’m not really a mourning person.
I'm going to stand outside, if anyone asks where I am tell them I am outstanding.
My friends say I'm getting fatter. In my defence I've had a lot on my plate recently.
What do you call a pig who does karate? Pork chop!
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
Why should you never fight a dinosaur? You'll get jurasskicked.
I'm glad I know sign language - it's pretty handy.
As I suspected, somebody has been added soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
Tequila may not fix your life but its worth a shot.
The cheese factory exploded today, there was de brie everywhere!
I'm thinking about starting a herb garden, but I'm not sure if I have the thyme.
I don't trust people who do acupuncture. They're back stabbers.
I'm reading a book about teleportation. It's bound to take me places.
Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
I tried to make a pun about escaping quicksand, but I'm stuck.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. But then I turned myself around.
Why did the Mexican take anti anxiety pills? For Hispanic attacks!

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