List of the 100 Funniest Puns as ranked by you

Funny puns are an excellent way to bring laughter to someone's day. They are a form of clever wordplay that hinges on words with multiple meanings. This list features a delightful assortment of witty, concise, and sometimes corny puns that have been handpicked to ensure a good laugh. Pun.me has been serving puns on the internet since 2015, which means we have a knack for finding the funniest puns!

Updated monthly through your votes!
This list comprises 100 humorous puns and is ordered by your votes. Feel free to click the thumbs-up or thumbs-down buttons to cast your vote on the puns that tickle your funny bone. Your input assists us in refining the list to feature only the best puns. With every update, we will introduce a fresh selection of humorous puns and adjust the page's order based on your votes.

Top 10 Funniest Puns

Below, you'll find the top 10 puns, voted by you as the very best puns we have.

1. I tried to make a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
   
   
2. Did you hear about the man who lost his left side? He's all right now.
   
   
3. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
   
   
4. I don't trust stairs... they are always up to something.
   
   
5. I'm going to stand outside, if anyone asks where I am tell them I am outstanding.
   
   
6. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
   
   
7. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
   
   
8. Thanks for explaining the word 'many' to me, it means alot.
   
   
9. I'm glad I know sign language - it's pretty handy.
   
   
10. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
    
    

Newly Added Puns

Each month, we will introduce new puns in this section. These puns have either been submitted to us or discovered by our team. You can cast your vote on the newly added puns if you believe they deserve a spot on our list of the funniest puns. If a pun accumulates enough votes, we'll include it on the page.

• Drinking while driving is whisky!
  
• I can't count how many arithmetic tests I've failed!
  

Puns to be Removed

The puns listed below have consistently received downvotes over the past few weeks. If you still find them funny and believe they should remain on our list, please give them a thumbs-up. If you think they should be removed, vote them down. If these puns continue to be disliked by your votes, we'll remove them from this list.

• A rubber band slingshot was confiscated in algebra class for being a weapon of math disruption.
  
• I've decided to sell my hoover... it was just collecting dust.
  

More Funny Puns

The remainder of the funny puns on these page didn't make the top 10 but are all still great and worth reading for a good chuckle.

11. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
    
12. I couldn't figure out how to put my seatbelt on, but then it clicked.
    
13. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
    
14. I wrote a song for a tortilla. Well, its more of a wrap.
    
15. He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
    
16. If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.
    
    
17. Yesterday a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester.
    
18. Stop with the blind jokes...I dont see the point.
    
19. I asked a Frenchman if he played video games, he said wii.
    
    
20. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
    
21. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
    
    
22. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
    
23. Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
    
24. I should have been sad when my flash light batteries died, but I was delighted.
    
25. How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
    
26. I was addicted to soap... I'm clean now.
    
27. A man died today when a pile of books fell on him. He only had his shelf to blame.
    
    
28. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
    
29. My room mates are concerned that I'm using their kitchen utensils, but that's a whisk i'm willing to take.
    
30. Shout out to people who don't know what the opposite of in is!
    
31. Why do they put fences around cementeries? Because people are dying to get in!
    
32. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. But then I turned myself around.
    
33. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
    
34. If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet!
    
35. It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty... but he had a great fall.
    
36. I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. It turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time!
    
    
37. You didn’t hear about the three big holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
    
38. Tequila may not fix your life but its worth a shot.
    
    
39. My friends say I'm getting fatter. In my defence I've had a lot on my plate recently.
    
40. A criminals best asset is his lie ability.
    
41. I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients.
    
    
42. My wife told me to stop speaking in numbers. But I didn't 1 2.
    
    
43. For a fungi to grow you must give it as mushroom as possible.
    
44. Jokes with punch lines can be painfully funny.
    
45. How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.
    
46. I use to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me!
    
47. I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my property over the weekend, my neighbour is dead against it...
    
48. My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said only mails work here.
    
49. It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
    
50. I don't trust people who do acupuncture. They're back stabbers.
    
51. As I suspected, somebody has been added soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
    
52. He wears glasses during math because it improves division.
    
53. Why should you never fight a dinosaur? You'll get jurasskicked.
    
    
54. If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is not for you.
    
55. After the birth of your first child, your role in life will become apparent.
    
56. I tripped over my girlfriends bra, seemed to be a booby trap.
    
57. Did you hear about the kid napping? He woke up.
    
58. Weight loss pills stolen this morning - police say suspects are still at large.
    
    
59. I've got a chicken-proof front lawn. It's impeccable!
    
60. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
    
61. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
    
62. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. But I've never met herbivore!
    
63. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
    
64. I used to be a shoe salesman until they gave me the boot.
    
    
65. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, I'll serve you, but don't start anything
    
66. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
    
67. Please don’t make my funeral too early. I’m not really a mourning person.
    
68. I'm thinking about starting a herb garden, but I'm not sure if I have the thyme.
    
69. When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.
    
70. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
    
71. I tried to make a pun about escaping quicksand, but I'm stuck.
    
72. My grandma is on speed dial and now I call her instagram.
    
73. Pun of the day is very important. As seven days without a pun makes one weak.
    
74. Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
    
75. I don't think I need a spine. It's holding me back.
    
76. I'm reading a book about teleportation. It's bound to take me places.
    
77. What do you call a pig who does karate? Pork chop!
    
    
78. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
    
79. The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line
    
80. I make apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
    
81. I removed the shell from my racing snail to make it go faster - but it just made it more sluggish.
    
82. Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
    
83. When I asked my dog how his day was he said it was rough.
    
84. What's a cow eating grass? A lawn mooer.
    
    
85. I've been thinking about learning Braille, but its a bit of a touchy subject.
    
    
86. Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.
    
87. I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie ever.
    
88. The butcher walked backwards into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
    
89. An expensive laxative will give you a run for your money.
    
90. The cheese factory exploded today, there was de brie everywhere!
    
91. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
    
92. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
    
93. She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
    
94. I'm going to buy some velcro for my shoes instead of laces. Why knot?
    
95. I hate carrying my luggage around the airport, I rest my case.
    
96. She didn't marry the gardener. Too rough around the hedges.
    
97. Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die!
    
98. My new diet consists of aircraft, however its a bit plane.
    
99. My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
    
100. Cows lie down in the rain to keep each udder dry.
     

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