Random Pun

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70 Clever Puns that are smartly wordly!

Puns rely on words with multiple meanings, this is our list of the most intelligently written puns. Do you understand them all?

  1. Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
  2. I'm an archaeologist and my life is in ruins.
  3. A good artist knows where to draw the line.
  4. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, I'll serve you, but don't start anything
  5. I learned about electricity today it was lit.
  6. A man died today when a pile of books fell on him. He only had his shelf to blame.
  7. Met this girl on a dating site and i don't know, we just clicked.
  8. She had a photographic memory but never developed it
  9. Whiteboards are so remarkable!
  10. Rest in peace boiling water, you will be mist.
  11. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
  12. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  13. I hate negative numbers and will stop at nothing to avoid them...
  14. I wish people would stop asking me where I think I'm going to be in 1 years, I don't have 2020 vision.
  15. Thanks for explaining the word 'many' to me, it means alot.
  16. My room mates are concerned that I'm using their kitchen utensils, but that's a whisk i'm willing to take.
  17. I wasn't going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
  18. How do you comfort a grammar fanatic? Their, they're, there.
  19. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
  20. When he proposed to her, she found it very engaging.
  21. A rubber band slingshot was confiscated in algebra class for being a weapon of math disruption.
  22. My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
  23. When life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
  24. My math teacher called me average. How mean!
  25. Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die!
  26. If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.
  27. I'm going to buy some velcro for my shoes instead of laces. Why knot?
  28. Did you hear about the deaf guy who got a speeding ticket? Neither did he!
  29. I never understood odourless chemicals, they never make scents.
  30. Velcro, what a rip-off.
  31. Me and my receding hairline? We go way back.
  32. I don't think I need a spine. It's holding me back.
  33. Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
  34. Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
  35. No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
  36. Many architects are good at coming up with concrete plans.
  37. I should have been sad when my flash light batteries died, but I was delighted.
  38. The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize.
  39. To the guy who invented Zero, thanks for nothing!
  40. There's a fine line between numerator and denominator.
  41. There's a new type of broom out, it's sweeping the nation.
  42. The tallest building in my city is the library because it has the most stories.
  43. What did the triangle say to the circle? You're so pointless.
  44. I gave away my dead batteries - free of charge.
  45. Getting paid to sleep would be a dream job.
  46. One fifth of people are just too tense!
  47. After the birth of your first child, your role in life will become apparent.
  48. A backwards poet writes inverse.
  49. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
  50. Have you ever heard of an honest cheetah?
  51. My math teacher called me average. How mean!
  52. The raisin wined about how he couldn't achieve grapeness.
  53. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandma called to see how he was a nurse said "No Change Yet".
  54. Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
  55. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway!
  56. If you ever feel cold just stand in a corner. They are usually around 90 degrees!
  57. You gotta hand it to short people.
  58. My friend was annoying me with bird puns but toucan play this game.
  59. A scarecrow with a PhD is outstanding in his field.
  60. Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
  61. I bet the butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said the steaks were too high.
  62. My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast
  63. He wears glasses during math because it improves division.
  64. I'm glad i know sign language, it's pretty handy.
  65. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
  66. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
  67. I was going to grow some herbs but I couldn't find the thyme..
  68. No matter how hard you push the envelope it will still be stationery.
  69. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
  70. I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.
  71. Craving more puns? Read out list of the 100 Funniest Puns