90 Funny Halloween Puns and Jokes

Halloween is almost here so we have updated our list of the best halloween puns and jokes related to ghosts, vampires, skeletons and more. These jokes are great fun for the whole family - make everyone laugh this spooky season!

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Halloween Puns

Our list starts with a selection of puns, packed with ghosts, vampires, skeletons, and all things Halloween

1. Why are graveyards noisy? Because of all the coffin!
   
2. What instruments do skeletons play? Trom-bone.
3. Why can't a vampire go to a barbecue? They're afraid of stakes.
4. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball? Because he had no-body to go with!
   
5. Why don't witches wear flat hats? Because there's no point to it!
6. Have you heard about the poor witch who became a millionaire? It was a rags to witches story.
7. What's a ghost's favorite pasta? Spookgetti.
   
8. Did you hear about the werewolf party? It was a howling success.
9. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? His ghoul friend.
10. What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
    
11. Where do zombies go on cruises? The Dead-iterranean Sea!
12. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!
13. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A nectarine!
    
14. What sound do witches make when they eat cereal? Snap, Cackle & Pop!
15. What happened when the young witch misbehaved? She was sent to her broom.
16. What do mummies like to listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
    
17. How does a vampire flirt? They bat their eyes!
18. What monster likes to dance at a party? The boogieman!
    
19. How do you know if a vampire is sick? He's coffin.
20. What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.
    
21. What is a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling.
22. What is a ghost's favorite liquor? Mali-boo.
    
23. What happened to the cannibal who was late to dinner? They gave her the cold shoulder.
24. Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
    
25. What is a vampire’s favourite ice cream flavor? Veinilla.
26. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles.
    
27. Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos.
28. What is a ghosts favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie.
    
29. How do witches play loud music? On their broom boxes!
30. What does a carved pumpkin celebrate? Hollow-een.
    
31. Why was the mummy so tense? He was all wound up.
32. Why are ghosts so bad at lying? You can see right through them.
    
33. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.

Halloween related punny sayings and phrases

Next up is our short pun-filled sayings perfect for cards, captions, or spooking up your social media!

36. Have a fang-tastic Halloween!
37. I'm here for the boos!
38. Eat, drink, and be scary.
39. Witch better have my candy!
40. Trick or treat yo'self!
41. Bone Appétit!
42. Creep it real.
43. You’ve got me under your spell.
44. Ghouls just wanna have fun!
45. If you’ve got it, haunt it!
46. Fangs for the memories.
47. Resting witch face.
48. I can’t be witch-out you!
49. Bugs and hisses, witches!
50. Hocus Pocus and chill.
51. Spook-tacular times ahead!
52. No tricks, just treats!
53. I’m dying to have some fun!
54. Witching you a Happy Halloween!
55. Have a bootiful night!

Halloween Jokes

More funny related humor - our favorite halloween related jokes!

56. Know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
    
57. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
58. How do ghosts like their eggs? Terror-fried!
59. Do you know how to make a witch itch? You take away the w!
    
60. What did the ghost say when it fell? I got a boo boo.
61. Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
62. What room does a ghost not need? A living room!
    
63. How do you fix a broken pumpkin? A pumpkin patch.
64. How do ghosts send letters? Through the ghost office.
65. What kind of dessert does a ghost like? I scream!
    
66. What does a skeleton say before dinner? Bone appetit!
67. Which vampire is the best at math? Count Dracula.
68. How do girl vampires flirt? They bat their eyes.
    
69. What did the skeleton order at the restaurant? Spare ribs.
70. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
71. How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle his funny bone!
    
72. What position does the ghost play in soccer? Ghoul-keeper.
73. How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones.
74. Why are vampires bad at art? They are only able to draw blood.
    
75. Why don't skeletons skydive? They don't have the stomach for it.
76. Do zombies eat burgers with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.
77. Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
    
78. Where does Dracula keep his money? At the blood bank.
79. What's the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.
    
80. The skeleton couldn't help being afraid of the storm — he just didn't have any guts.
    

Halloween Knock-knock Jokes

Finally we end our list with this selection of Knock-knock jokes related to halloween, great for kids!

81. Knock, knock...
    Who's there? Witch!
    Witch who?
    Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
82. Knock, knock...
    Who's there?
    Boo.
    Boo who?
    Don't cry! I didn't mean to scare you.
83. Knock, knock...
    Who's there?
    Phillip!
    Phillip who?
    Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
84. Knock, knock...
    Who’s there?
    Bat.
    Bat who?
    Bat-ter be ready for trick-or-treating!
85. Knock, knock...
    Who's there?
    Ben!
    Ben who?
    Ben waiting to get candy all day!
86. Knock, knock...
    Who’s there?
    Fangs.
    Fangs who?
    Fangs for the candy!
87. Knock, knock...
    Who’s there?
    Howl!
    Howl who?
    Howl you know unless you open the door!
88. Knock, knock...
    Who’s there?
    Pumpkin.
    Pumpkin who?
    Pumpkin up the volume, it’s Halloween!
89. Knock, knock...
    Who’s there?
    Ice cream.
    Ice cream who?
    Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
90. Knock, knock...
    Who’s there?
    Gore.
    Gore who?
    Gore ahead and open the door, it's Halloween!

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More funny jokes

For more funny content check out our List of the Funniest Jokes, List of Funny Dad Jokes or for more kid orientated humor read our funny Knock knock jokes with your children!

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Halloween characters/images credit to Image by studiogstock on Freepik