20 Crime Puns about criminals, jail and prison!

Last Updated: April 25, 2023

A small and concise list of the crime puns about criminals, jail, prison and the law.

You heard about drug dealers being interrogated by the police? They do crack.
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They each got 6 months!
Stealing someone's coffee is called mugging
A criminals best asset is his lie ability.
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
Being friends with assassins is a bad idea. They're all backstabbers.
The case against a donut thief was full of holes.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Weight loss pills stolen this morning - police say suspects are still at large.
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
I got a small ticket for speeding. It's fine with me.
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
My drug dealer cracks me up.
If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.
How did the hackers get away? No idea. They must have randomware.
Why did the criminal take a bath before he robbed the bank? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
Why did the thief break into the bakery? He kneaded the dough.
Did you hear about the man who stole a vacuum cleaner? He got away clean.
Why did the policeman go to bed? Because he wanted to catch some sleep!
I'm in a lawsuit with a pen company. I just can't seem to draw the line.