50 Funny Dad Jokes You Haven't Heard Before

By now, we're all familiar with the classic definition of a dad joke: lighthearted, corny, and filled with puns. But let's face it, we've all grown tired of hearing the same punchlines repeatedly, such as 'What’s brown and sticky? A stick.' or 'I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.' It's time for a much-needed change!

If you're craving a breath of fresh air in the world of dad humor, look no further! We've curated a lighthearted collection of hilarious dad jokes that you won't find on every other list on the internet. These jokes are ready to make you chuckle, giggle, and groan in the best way possible.

Best Funny Dad Jokes

Starting with our absolute best dad jokes sure to make you chuckle!

1. My Obese parrot died today. Sad but it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
   
2. Which Indian city do people always leave their mother? Mumbai.
3. Justice is a dish best served cold. If served warm it would be justwater.
4. I told a joke on a zoom meeting and no-one laughed. It turns out I'm not remotely funny.
5. I stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and the guy says: 'Once upon a time there was a lobster...'
6. At a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little, I always give 110%.
7. If you're feeling down, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed. It'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
   
8. When I get in to work I immediately hide. Good employees are hard to find.
9. What do you call a Magician who's lost his magic. Ian.
10. I asked my friend Sam to sing a song about the iPhone. And then Samsung.
11. Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side.
12. Two years ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf... I haven't heard from him since.

More Corny Dad Jokes

These jokes have the corniness factor turned up and are more groan-inducing.

13. What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
    
14. Got to hand it to short people, they can't reach it on their own.
15. I asked my Chinese friend what it's like to live in China. He says he can't complain.
16. Just been for my prostate exam. Got the thumbs up.
17. Today I found out that Dwayne Johnson lives in the apartment above mine. All these years I've been living under a rock.
    
18. Guess who I pumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed? Everybody.
19. I went to a psychic. I knocked on her front door. She yelled: 'Who is it?' So I Left.
20. My teacher asked if I could name a country with no R in it. I said "No way."
21. Remember when plastic surgey was a taboo subject? Now you mention botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

Pun-based Dad Jokes

Next up, dad jokes relying on puns that are sure to make you crack up!

22. Once upon a time there was a king who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible king but he made a great ruler.
    
23. Why did the chicken go to the gym? To work on his pecks.
24. I got kidnapped by mimes once, they did unspeakable things to me.
25. What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
26. Why did the Biology teacher break up with the Physics teacher? There was no chemistry.
27. A colorblind friend insisted that all apples are yellow. I told him that was bananas.
28. My wife rearranged the labels on my spice rack.. Haven't confronted her yet but the thyme is cumin.
29. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
30. A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame.
31. Where do rainbows go when they're bad? Prism.
32. Who hides in the bathroom at parties? The party-pooper.
33. What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe.
    
34. Why do horses have low divorce rates? They have stable relationships.
35. A couple of cows were smoking weed and playing poker. The steaks were high.
36. You think gas prices are expensive, have you seen chimneys? They're through the roof.
37. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant. But then I changed my mind.
38. Why are your fingers the most reliable part of the body? You can always count on them.
39. What do you call friends you like to eat with? Tastebuds.
40. How do computer get drunk? They take screenshots.
41. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

Wife / Family Dad Jokes

Time for dad jokes to meets domesticity with these wife and family related funny lines.

42. My wife says I'm getting fat, but in my defence... I've had alot on my plate recently.
    
43. My wife traumatically ripped the blankets off me last night. I will recover.
44. My wife bet me I couldn't turn spaghetti into a car. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
45. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
46. My wife dated a clown before she started going out with me. I had some pretty big shoes to fill.
    
47. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
48. My wife banned me from making any more breakfast puns, if I make any more I'm toast.
49. My girlfriend says if we don't get married soon, she's gonna kill me. It's a matter of wife or death.
50. Tomorrow my son and I are getting new glasses. After that - we'll see.

We hope this refreshing collection of dad jokes brought laughter, groans, and some additions for your mental list of go-to dad jokes! If you have any quality dad humor worth sharing remember to use our submission form and you may see your joke appear on the list!

Share Article

Share this page:

More Funny Content?

Looking for more funny content? Check out our frequently updated page of seriously funny jokes or for more pun-based humor check out our list of 100 Funniest Puns as voted on by our website visitors!