Jokes, Puns & Other Fun

50 Witty and Funny Sayings to Brighten the Mood

Last Updated: June 29, 2023

Funny sayings are a clever and witty way to provide a combination of wisdom and humor. These short fun sayings provide a silly expression usually using wordplay or puns to make somebody laugh.

Improve somebody's mood by recalling these witty sayings from memory when the time is right. Memorize just a few of these funny lines and watch as they work their magic!

  1. I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
    Saying about seafood
  2. Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.
    Funny alcohol saying
  3. I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
    Hair Stylist Saying
  4. Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
    Saying about failing a plan
  5. If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer...
    Saying about being back in five minutes
  6. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
    Funny saying about banks and money
  7. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
    Funny saying about cupcakes
  8. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
    Saying about doing nothing
  9. If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
    funny saying about a light bulb
  10. Don’t drink while driving – you might spill the beer.
    fun saying about spilling beer!
  11. I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
    Funny Saying about a game of charades
  12. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
    Funny saying about refusing to answer questions
  13. Alcohol doesn't solve any problem, but neither does milk.
    Funny saying about milk and alcohol.
  14. My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry...
    Silly but funny saying about onions
  15. Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
    Funny Saying about expecting the unexpected
  16. I'm not clumsy, The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies and the walls get in my way.
    Funny saying about being clumsy
  17. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
    Hilarious saying about smiling whilst you have teeth
  18. The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.
    Funny saying about fat personalities
  19. I'm jealous of my parents, I'll never have a kid as cool as them.
    Fun saying about cool kids
  20. I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.
    Funny saying about not being lazy
  21. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
    fun saying about being unique
  22. You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
    Silly saying about paying taxes
  23. I am nobody, nobody is perfect, I am perfect.
    Funny saying about being perfect
  24. A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
    Funny saying about cookies
  25. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
    Funny saying about the difference of men and women
  26. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
    Saying about bikes being stolen
  27. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
    Funny saying about arguing with idiots
  28. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of bank payments.
    Funny saying about nobody caring
  29. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
    Funny saying about money cant buy happiness
  30. If you do a job too well, you’ll get stuck with it.
    Funny saying about jobs
  31. Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
    Funny saying about quantity not quality.
  32. The road to success is always under construction.
    Funny saying about the road to success
  33. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
    Hilarious saying about being right.
  34. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
    Funny saying about the bright side of life
  35. If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead yet?
    Funny saying about living without me
  36. Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
    Funny saying about the sky being the limit
  37. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
    Saying about enjoying every minute of insanity
  38. I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
    funny saying about exercise
  39. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
    Funny saying about sleep and grumpy
  40. God created the world, everything else is made in China.
    Fun saying about everything being made in china
  41. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest.
    Funny saying about birthdays
  42. When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
    Funny saying about Dyslexia
  43. Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children!
    Funny saying about children and accidents
  44. I’d like to help you out today. Which way did you come in?
    Funny saying about helping people out.
  45. You never truly understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother.
    Cute funny saying about grandparents
  46. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
    Funny saying about experience being a wonderful thing
  47. You can't have everything, where would you put it?
    Funny saying about not having everything.
  48. Don't you wish they made a clap on clap off device for some peoples mouths?
    fun saying about clap on devices
  49. Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
    Funny saying about talking to myself
  50. If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
    Hilarious saying about people talking behind your back and farts

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