List of 45 Funny Jokes about Magicians, Magic & Witches
Last Updated: October 29, 2023
A selection of funny magician, magic & witch related humor. These jokes are your secret spells for making friends and family burst into laughter, or they can work their magic as clever Instagram captions."
Jokes About Magicians
- I used to be friends with a magician, but we had to stop hanging out. He kept disappearing on me!
- Why did the magician bring a ladder to the show? He wanted to see what was up the rabbit's sleeve.
- How do magicians stay cool in the summer? They use their sleight of fan!
- Why don't magicians ever play hide and seek? Because they always disappear when you're not looking!
- Why did the magician bring a broom to the show? He wanted to sweep the audience off their feet!
- What's a magician's favorite kind of tree? The palm tree, because they're great at hiding things in their leaves!
- Why don't magicians play cards in the wild? Because there are too many cheetahs!
- What's the difference between a magician and an iPhone? The iPhone has 32 gigs...
- I once saw a magician make a stick of butter disappear. It’s wasn’t a great trick but it was butter then nothing.
- What's the difference between a pizza and a magician? One can feed a family of four!
- A good magician's assistant is hard to find. They're highly sawed after.
- I know this one magician that keeps using trap doors in his act. It's just a stage he's going through.
- What's the difference between a magician and his deck of cards? The deck of cards has four suits!
- What’s the difference between a magician and a savings bond? A savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.
- Did you hear about the angry magician? He pulled his hare out.
- What do you call a magician on a plane? A flying sorcerer!
- How many magicians does it take to do magic? Just one will do the trick.
- What do you call a magician who has lost their magic? Ian.
- A Mexican magician was doing a magic show. He said "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.
- Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate? He had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
- I never saw the magician’s spell book. He kept it under warlock and key.
- Why did the magician take a bath? So he could clean up his act.
- I was fired from my job today as a children’s magician. Apparently, when I make the kids disappear out of thin air, I also have to make them reappear.
- I'm like a magician, I make things disappear, like my money.
- Last week I saw a magician walk down the street. He turned into a supermarket.
Magic Related Jokes
- Did you hear about the magic tractor? He went down the road and turned into a field.
- I showed a mime a magic trick. He was speechless.
- What do you call a magic owl? HOOT-DINI
- What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
- The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- My son asked me to make him a paper airplane. I tried all the magic I know but he’s still just a boy.
- What kind of magic do cows believe in? Moodoo.
- What school of magic does a giraffe practice? Neckromancy.
- What do you call a bee with a spell on him? Bee-witched.
- What do you call a large bird that practices dark magic? An ostwitch.
Witch Jokes
- The problem with twin witches is that you never know witch is which.
- Why did the witch go to the doctor? She had a dizzy spell.
- I went to witch school when I was a kid. I didn’t love it. All we did was spell.
- How long do witches ride broomsticks for on cold nights? For just a short spell.
- What happens if someone sees a magic crime? They enter the Witches' Protection Program.
- What do you learn at witch school? Spelling.
- How do you make a witch scratch? By taking away the 'w'.
- What do you call witches who live together? Broom-mates.
- What do you call a nervous witch? A twitch.
- What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future? Witchful thinking.
More Funny Puns
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