List of 60 Funny Puns and Jokes about Golf

A selection of funny golf related puns, jokes and sayings. Perfect whether you're looking to make somebody laugh, want a funny line for the next round or helpful for a golf related social media caption!

Golf related Puns

1. My friend just collapsed into a display of golf clubs... Paramedics are doing what they can but he’s not out of the woods yet!
   
2. What’s a golfer’s favorite type of music? Swing.
3. What do you call a wizard who plays golf? Harry Putter.
4. Why did the golfer need new friends? Because his old ones were always teeing him off.
5. Why don’t golfers ever get lost? They always follow the course.
6. Why are golf games so polite? Because they always follow proper tee-quette.
7. Why did the golf ball break up with the tee? It felt like it was being used.
8. Why do golfers always carry an extra pair of pants? In case they get a hole in one.
   
9. Why did the golfer bring a ladder to the course? To get to a higher level of play.
10. What did the golf ball say to the club? You drive me crazy!
11. Why did the golfer take up baking? He wanted to master the perfect slice.
12. What do you call a golfer who always takes the easy way out? A "short-cutter."
13. How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb? Fore!
14. What does a golfer’s diet consist of? A lot of greens and water.
15. What is a golfer’s worst nightmare? The Bogeyman.

Punny sayings & phrases

These golf related puns are great for Instagram captions, seasonal messages and more.

16. Bad at golf? Join the club.
    
17. If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
18. Golf is an easy game. It’s just hard to play.
19. Current mood: par-tee time!
20. Relationship status: committed to my swing.
21. Warning: May talk about golf non-stop. Fore-ever.
22. You're tee-rific!
23. You're driving me crazy.
24. Fore-get about it!
25. I'm on par for disaster.
26. It’s a rough life.
27. Keep calm and putt on.
28. Golf forth and prosper
29. Green and bear it
30. Swinging to success
31. Putter luck next time
32. Good times as par as the eye can see
33. My golf game is so bad, even the trees duck when I swing!
34. Golfers say the key to a good game is to chip away at it!
35. Par-fect day for golf

Funny golf sayings

Here are some witty golf lines to use in different situations on the golf course when your friends hit a bad shot!

36. After missing a putt: "well at least you were using the right club."
    
37. After a bad shot: "That’s a son-in-law shot. Not to happy with it but I guess it could be worse."
38. After a slice: "That ball’s got a better chance of coming back than my ex."
39. After a topped drive: "You trying to kill a mole or play golf?"
40. After a sky ball: "NASA just called. They want their ball back."
41. After hitting it into the woods: "Ah, the scenic route. Bold choice."
42. Hitting out of bounds: "That ball's on its way to find itself."
43. After a chunked wedge: "Nice divot. You should frame that."
44. After an air ball: "You clubbing up for the next hole already?"
45. After hitting it short: "Well, it’s on the green... in theory."
46. Watching someone duff it: "Classic example of body saying yes, hands saying nope."
47. After racing it past the hole: "Nice putt... if the hole was on the next green."
48. After a near miss: "Right line, wrong planet."
49. Watching someone line it up for too long: "You writing a novel or hitting a putt?"
50. After someone celebrates early and misses: "Premature putt celebration... it happens to a lot of guys."
51. After an unlucky bounce: "If it weren’t for bad luck, you’d have no luck at all."

Funny Jokes about Golf

Some additional general golf jokes to round off our list!

52. I just saw a golfer crying his eyes out... He's going through a rough patch!
    
53. How can you tell a golfer is really bad? He always has a spare scorecard.
54. What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A skydiver has a better chance of landing on the fairway.
55. I shot one under at golf today. One under a tree, one under a bush, and one under the water.
56. Golf is harder than baseball because you still have to play your foul balls.
57. Why do golf announcers whisper? Because they don’t want to wake up the people watching.
58. In golf, people tend to get their numbers mixed up. They shoot a “six,” yell “fore,” and write “five.”
59. I’m so bad at golf that I have to go get my ball retriever re-gripped more often than my clubs.
60. Why did the golfer go to therapy? He had too many issues with his swing.

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