80 Stupidly Dumb Puns That Will Leave You Laughing

Stupid puns are a type of wordplay that depends on a nonsensical situation or a simple, often absurd use of words to create humor that can make you laugh. A really silly pun can unexpectedly brighten someone's day, as they won't anticipate the sheer absurdity of the wordplay, leading to laughter and perhaps even some eye-rolling at its brainless humor.

1. When I found out that my microwave wasn't waterproof, I was shocked.
   
2. I don't know the whole alphabet. I don't know y!
3. I hate carrying my luggage around the airport, i rest my case.
4. Did you hear about the kid napping? He woke up.
5. Tennis players can never find happiness. Love means nothing to them.
6. I tried wearing some tight jeans, but I couldn't pull it off.
7. Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
8. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents!
9. You didn’t hear about the three big holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
10. The butcher walked backwards into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
    
11. What did the cross-eyed teacher say? I can't control my pupils!
12. Where do boats go when they get sick. The dock!
13. I saw a sign that said falling rocks, so I tried and it doesn't.
14. What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam.
15. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
16. If it wasn't for physics, I'd be unstoppable.
17. Stop with the blind jokes... I dont see the point.
18. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
19. Did you hear about the deaf guy who got a speeding ticket? Neither did he!
20. A blind man walked into a bar. Then a table, then a chair.
    
21. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
22. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
23. I was trying to make a pun about escaping quicksand but I'm stuck.
24. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
25. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.
26. Broken pencils are pointless.
27. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
28. I went into a shop and said "Can someone sell me a kettle?" The bloke said "Kenwood?" I said "Where is he then?"
29. I think i want a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something i can see myself doing!


30. I am so tried of auto correct jokes.
31. Make the little things count. Teach midgets math!
32. I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig... It's not a beautiful poem but it's very deep.
33. I can't stand sitting.
34. No matter how hard you push the envelope it will still be stationery.
35. I can't count how many times I failed maths at school.

More Puns: Check out our List of 45 Funny Cake Puns and Jokes to really bake your day!

36. I use to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me!
37. What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
38. I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
39. I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my property over the weekend, my neighbour is dead against it
40. Why did the blonde sneak past the medicine cabinet? She didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.
    
41. I bet the butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said the steaks were too high.
42. The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
43. If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?
44. My new diet consists of aircraft, however its a bit plane.
45. People who plug their computer keyboards into hi-fi systems aren't idiots. That would be stereotyping.
46. Pencils could be made with erasers on both ends, but what would be the point?
47. I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie ever.
48. I used to have a fear of hurdles... then i got over it.
    
49. The painter was hospitalized due to too many strokes.
50. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I can do it with my eyes closed.
51. If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is not for you.
52. I went to a peanut factory last week. It was nuts!
53. I saw a sign that said falling rocks, so I tried and it doesn't.
    
54. How does a farmer count cows? With a cow-culator
55. What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
56. The majority of people find bananas a peeling.
57. Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!
58. I've decided to sell my Hoover. Well it was just collecting dust.
59. England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
60. What happens when four children lock themselves in a wardrobe? That's narnia business...
61. When you get a bladder infection urine trouble!
62. Why do orphans make terrible baseball players? They don't know where the home is!
63. The bomb didn't want to go off, so it refused.
64. The tale of the haunted refrigerator was chilling.
65. What does a spy do when he gets cold? He goes undercover.
66. Whenever I undress in the bathroom... my shower gets turned on!
    
67. An overweight psychic is called a four-chin teller.
68. To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
69. Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning!
70. Stupid and dumb puns... it's how eye roll.
71. My ex still misses my, but her aim is starting to improve.
72. What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time, no sea.
73. Where does a sheep go to get a hair cut? The Baa-baa shop.
74. Why couldn't the little pony sing? She was a little horse.
    
75. I'm writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don't read it!
76. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
77. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
78. I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
79. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
80. I'm reading a book on the history of glue. I just can't seem to put it down!
    

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More Puns or Jokes?

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