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50 Funny Crypto Jokes, Puns & One Liners

List of Crypto Puns & Jokes Last Updated: July 12, 2025

A selection of funny cryptocurrency related humor - this list of puns, one-liners and jokes are great for anyone who loves digital currencies or anyone with a HODL-worthy sense of humor!

Funny Cryptocurrency Jokes

  1. Why won’t the government embrace Bitcoin? They hate the idea of Proof Of Work.
    Funny cryptocurrency joke about the government
  2. How does a cryptocurrency enthusiast open his front door? With a private key!
  3. Dad, I need £10 in cryptocurrency! £9.71? What do you need £10.33 for?!
  4. Why didn’t Superman attend the evening conference on Bitcoin? It was crypto-night!
  5. How many cryptocurrency miners does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them – one to do it and the rest to verify he did it!
  6. What’s the difference between getting married and investing in cryptocurrency? If your marriage fails, you’ll only lose half your money!
  7. My dog chewed up my NFT. Now it’s a real rug pull.
  8. Why did the HODLer refuse therapy? Because he still believes.
  9. How do you make a small fortune from investing in Bitcoin? Start off by investing a large fortune in Bitcoin.
  10. How can you tell who owns bitcoin at a party? Don't worry, they'll tell you.
    Funny bitcoin joke
  11. I invested in crypto and now I sleep like a baby... I wake up every two hours and cry.
  12. Where does an Eskimo keep his Bitcoin? In a cold wallet.
  13. Reminder: If a hot girl texts you about crypto, block him!
  14. Who are the worst guests at a dinner party? Vegan bitcoin owners.
  15. Why did XRP get kicked out of the poker game? Because it kept trying to settle too quickly.
  16. Ethereum walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve gas here.”
  17. With inflation at 7.5%, you lose half your money in 9 years. The only way to outperform that consistently, that I have found, is crypto. Just this year I've already lost half my money.
  18. How do you get $1,000 in cryptocurrency? Invest $2,000.
  19. Dungeons and Dragons is a lot like Bitcoin. I know it's popular but I don't understand it.
  20. What’s the difference between Bitcoin and NASA? Bitcoin’s actually going to the moon.
  21. What’s the difference between a crypto trader and a weatherman? The weatherman has better odds of being right.

Funny Crypto Puns

  1. Why do bitcoin investors want a Lambo? Because they know Ferarri is owned by Fiat.
    Funny Crypto pun
  2. I had a silver dollar, but then my dog got a hold of it. Now I have a bit-coin
  3. What did the crypto trader say at the gym? I'm just here to pump.
  4. Why do crypto investors not trust the butcher? He has no proof of steak!
  5. Why did the hipster crypto miner burn out his GPU? He was mining before it was cool!
  6. Why don’t Bitcoin enthusiasts need therapists? Because they’ve already processed their blocks.
  7. How much did it cost to invent bitcoin? One Satoshi.
    Funny Crypto pun about satoshi
  8. Tesla will never accept ETH... because it requires gas.
  9. My crypto wallet and I have a lot in common, we're both emotionally volatile.
  10. I told my coins to go to the moon — but they just needed a little space.
  11. Crypto traders don’t need salads, they get their greens from profits.
  12. What’s a crypto trader’s favorite exercise? HODLing their breath.
  13. What kind of money do vampires use? Bit-coin
  14. Bitcoin broke up with the dollar because it wanted a stable relationship.
  15. What’s a horses favourite crypto? A stable-coin

Pun-based Crypto One Liners

  1. I'm in a committed relationship, with my losses.
    Pun one-liner about a cryptocurrency losses
  2. I HODL because I like pain, emotional, financial, existential pain.
  3. My crypto gains are just like my abs - I know they’re under there... somewhere.
  4. Bitcoin is the new gold, except you can't lose gold in a boating accident.
  5. HODL: Because panic-selling never made millionaires.
  6. Bitcoin is like my ex — volatile and hard to understand.
  7. Why go to Vegas when you can trade altcoins?
  8. Life’s like crypto — unpredictable but full of potential.
    Crypto one-liner about life
  9. DeFi-initely not financial advice.
  10. Making change, one block at a time.
  11. From Lamborghini dreams to ramen reality.
  12. The only thing more unstable than crypto prices is my sleep schedule.
  13. I’m just here for the block party.
  14. Crypto prices change faster than my mood swings.

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