80 Funny Bread Puns & Jokes

A selection of funny bread, bakers and bakery themed humor. Use these lines for comical instagram captions or for making your friends and family laugh!

Bread related puns

1. How does the bread win over his sweetheart? With lots of flours.
   
2. Why did the bread break up with the butter? Because it kneaded some space.
3. What’s a bread’s least favorite way to pass time? Loafing around all day.
4. What did the toast say to the psychic? You bread my mind!
5. What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race? You're toast!
6. What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend? You deserve butter.
7. How do you spot a radical baker? They're always going against the grain.
8. How does bread greet each other? "Dough you knead any help?"
9. What did mama bread say to her kids? It's way past your breadtime!
10. The baguette forgot his umbrellaand got soaking wheat all over.
11. What do french people get the bread home? They baguette.
    
12. What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor? It’s the yeast I could do.
13. How does bread relax after it's finished baking? It loafs around.
14. How do you say hello to German bread? Gluten tag.
15. Why does bread look so bad in photos? It’s too grainy.
16. Why did the aging loaf retire? His career was toast.
17. What's the most sophisticated kind of bread? The upper crust.
18. What did the bread say to the oven? It’s getting toasty in here!
19. Why did the baker file a sexual harassment claim? People kept commenting on his hot buns!
20. Two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.

Bakery and baker related

21. My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
    
22. Why did the baker's card get declined? He didn't have enough dough!
23. Why was the baker a great comedian? Because he always rose to the occasion.
24. How did the baker feel after making a bad batch of bread? A little crumby.
25. What kind of dog did the baker have? A pure bread.
26. Why did the baker panic? Because it was a loaf or death situation.
27. What’s the best thing about a bread puns? They never get stale.
28. My friend used to steal from the bakery, he was a big whisk-taker!
    
29. Bakers don't compliment you, they just butter you up!
30. How do bakers stay in shape? They do a lot of bread-lifting.
31. Why do bakers make toxic relationships? Because they are so kneed-y!
32. I used to work at a bakery, but I couldn’t make enough dough!
33. I thought about opening a bakery once, but I knew I would have to raise a lot of dough.
34. When the baker got a promotion, he said he was on a roll.

Short Bread Puns

35. You’re my butter half.
    
36. It's the yeast I could do.
37. You can crust in me!
38. Wheat be cute together.
39. Bae-goals!
40. Don’t go baking my heart.
41. You're toast.
42. Wheat it and weep.
43. Don't be so sour, dough.
44. I don't want naan of that.
45. Don't be so kneady.
46. Baguette out of my way!
    
47. You're no bun!
48. Stop loafing around!
49. Rye so serious?
50. That’s a no-grainer.
51. We’re on a knead-to-know basis.
52. I don’t give a crepe.
53. Another one bites the crust.
54. Ryes and shine!
55. I donut belong here.
56. I'm a gluten for punishment.
57. Bready or not, here I crumb!
58. You butter believe it!
59. I’m feeling bready for anything.
60. Muffin compares to you.
61. I loaf you so much!
    
62. Are you flour-ting with me?
63. You are baking me crazy!
64. Just roll with it.
65. You knead me, admit it!
66. You crumb here often?
67. This is how I roll.
68. Stop trying to butter me up.
69. You’re bun-believable.
70. Loaf me or hate me.
71. Don’t let anyone rye-dicule you.
72. Well, that’s just the yeast of my worries.
73. I’m all about the butter things in life.
74. I think we’re baking some progress here.
75. Dough you think I’m funny?

Bread related knock-knock jokes

76. Knock, knock!
    Who’s there?
    Crumb.
    Crumb who?
    Crumb on, you know who it is—it’s me!
77. Knock, knock!
    Who’s there?
    Bread.
    Bread who?
    Bread-y or not, here I crumb!
78. Knock, knock!
    Who’s there?
    Dough.
    Dough who?
    Doughn't you recognize me?
79. Knock, knock!
    Who’s there?
    Peter. (Pita)
    Pita who?
    Pita bread, of course! Want some?
80. Knock, knock!
    Who’s there?
    Sourdough
    Sourdough who?
    Sourdough you want to hear another joke?

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