List of 80 Funny Coffee Puns and Jokes

An array of funny coffee related humor, use these jokes for making your friends laugh, or perhaps use the puns as witty caffeine related Instagram captions.

Coffee related Puns

1. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
   
2. How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.
3. Don't complain about the coffee, you'll be old and weak yourself one day.
4. My friend the barista was hiding something from me, so I told him to spill the beans.
5. If you've got a big test coming up, you'd better bring your thinking cappuccino.
6. I’m quiet, but after a cup of coffee, I can espresso my feelings.
7. What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? A mugging!
   
8. She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
9. I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind
10. Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
11. What do you call a mischievous coffee bean? A trouble-brew-er.
12. What’s a barista’s favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
    
13. People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning. No, I say. I just bring him some coffee.
14. What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
15. Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning!

Punny saying and phrases

16. Espresso yourself!
    
17. You've bean on my mind.
18. Life's better with a latte love.
19. I like you a latte.
20. Stay grounded but keep reaching for the stars.
21. Brew-tiful mornings start with coffee.
22. Don't be depresso - have an espresso!
23. Coffee: the hot friend I wake up to every day.
24. Bean there, done that.
25. Mug life chose me.
26. Take life one sip at a time.
27. You're brew-tiful.
28. Sip happens - coffee helps.
29. Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me.
30. Spill the beans, but not the coffee.
31. Keep calm and coffee on.
32. No filter needed - just pour-over.
33. Don't stop until you're fully brewed.
34. Deja brew: the feeling you’ve had this coffee before.
    
35. Coffee - because adulting is hard.
36. Brew can do it!
37. Love you a whole latte.
38. A day without coffee is simply depresso.
39. Grounds for celebration!
40. Take a break - it's coffee o'clock.
41. Just sip it.
42. Hit me with your best shot.
43. Perk up and conquer!
44. Where've you bean all my life?
45. We're the perfect blend.
46. There's trouble brewing.
47. Listen, I need to venti
48. I'm so sick, I've been coffee and sneezing!
49. Cold brew help me with this
50. I don't give a frappe!

Funny jokes about Coffee

51. What do you call a coffee that’s always late? Slow brew.
    
52. What does Arnold say after a long day of acting? Get to da cuppa!
53. How is divorce like an Espresso? - It’s expensive and bitter.
54. What do gossiping pots do? Spill the beans.
55. Why did the kangaroo stop drinking his cup of coffee? It made him too jumpy.
56. How are coffee beans like teenagers? – They are always getting grounded.
57. What’s a coffee’s favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot!
58. What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you’ve been there before? Déja-brew.
59. I was reading a book about the origin of cappuccino but it was all froth and no substance.
60. Why did the coffee shop close for the day? Because a storm was brewing.
61. Why was the coffee shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
    
62. What's a coffee's favorite Wham! song? Wake Be up Before You Cocoa!
63. Why don’t snakes drink coffee? Because it makes them viper-active!
64. How does a penguin drink coffee? Ice cold brew!
65. Why did the coffee go to therapy? It had a latte on its mind!
66. What’s a coffee’s favorite mode of transportation? The espresso train...
67. What does a coffee lawyer say? "You’ve bean served!"
68. What’s a pirate’s favorite coffee? Arrrr-bica!
69. What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
70. I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
71. Why are Italians so good at making coffee? They know how to espresso themselves.
    
72. What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion? I asked for coffee.
73. What’s the opposite of coffee? Sneezy.
74. A man walks into a café and orders a coffee to go. The coffee gets up and leaves.
75. Why should you avoid discussing coffee with sensitive people? It can be a strong, heated debate.
76. What do you call the first level of a coffee factory? The ground floor.
77. What's a coffee's favorite dessert? Anything with a latte sugar.
78. Why should you be wary of 5-cent espresso? It’s a cheap shot.
79. What do baristas say to their least favorite customers? You mocha me crazy!
80. What currency can we use to buy coffee in space? Starbucks.

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