List of 100 Funny Puns and Jokes related to Gardening

I recently became a homeowner, and one of the first things I got excited about was having a garden of my own. Between discovering what plants and flowers will appear where and battling weeds (so much bindweed you would not believe it!), I felt inspired to share some garden related laughs on punme!

So whether you're a plant lover, a garden enthusiast, or just someone who appreciates a good one-liner, here’s a collection of garden related puns and jokes that are perfect for a light-hearted scroll, a clever Instagram caption, or a smile on a sunny day.

Punny Gardening Jokes

These are our best selection of punny jokes revolving around gardens, if you are looking for shorter puns scroll down to the next section!

1. I used to be terrified of gardening. Then I grew a pear.
   
2. What position does a baby plant serve in the army? Infant tree.
3. Did you hear about the man who was seen naked in his greenhouse? He was caught with his plants down.
4. I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. But you've probably heard of herbivore.
5. It turns out my front lawn is chicken proof. It's impeccable
6. I put an electric fence around my garden. My neighbour is dead against it
7. Yet again, someone has added more soil to my allotment. The plot thickens...
8. I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in!
9. Just saw two birds stuck together in the garden. I think they are velcrows
10. I told my wife that what she is wearing is inappropriate for gardening. But she's digging in her heels.
11. I was really impressed by the gardener I saw the other day. He was out standing in his field.
12. I read a novel about a guy who had a small garden. Not much of a plot.
13. Why did the gardener quit? Their celery wasn’t good enough.
    
14. What did one plant say to the other during a heatwave? "I’m feeling a little wilted... can you leaf me alone?"
15. How do you know a gardener is humble? They always dig deep.
16. I told my plants I love them, now they’re rooting for me.
17. I tried to make a belt out of herbs. It was a waist of thyme.
18. God initially planned to use wasps to pollinate flowers. But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
19. My gardener takes a really long time to cut the grass. It's like he's in slow-mow.
    
20. Why was the compost so good at parties? It knew how to break things down.
21. How do flowers flirt? They give each other petal talk.
22. What did the flower say after a breakup? "I’ll be bouquet."
23. I planted a light bulb, I am hoping to grow a power plant.
24. The gardener had therapy because he had too many growing pains.
25. I started reading a book on gardening and I can’t leaf it alone.

More Jokes: for more gardening jokes, skip the short puns and jump down to the further gardening jokes section

Garden Vegetable Based Puns

26. I love you from my head to-ma-toes
    
27. You look radishing
28. Find your inner peas
29. Spread hap-pea-ness
30. Peas and quiet
31. Lettuce celebrate
32. Kale yes!
33. Turnip the music
34. You’re one in a melon
35. You’re my sweet potato
36. Keep calm, carrot on
37. Let’s avo-cuddle
38. Corn you not?
39. Leek the truth!
40. Squash your fears
41. Lettuce romaine friends forever
42. I yam what I yam
43. Don’t carrot all, do you?
44. You make my heart skip a beet
45. You’ve got me in a real pickle

Herb Themed Puns

46. Bay leaf in yourself
    
47. I’m kind of a big dill
48. We were mint to be
49. Thyme to garden
50. Thyme to eat some veggies
51. Ain’t nobody got thyme for that
52. Eat, drink and be rosemary
53. Good chives only
54. It’s about thyme
55. We’re mint to be
56. I need a little thyme to myself
57. You’re lookin’ fresh, parsley!
58. It's absolute dill-icious sense of humor
59. No thyme like the present
60. You’re the zest! (Lemon balm approved)
61. Chive never met someone like you
62. Dill with it
63. I’m cumin over for dinner!

More Gardening Jokes

Here are some additional gardening jokes - less pun-filled, more general gardening fun!

64. Why couldn't the crocodile grow any plants? Because he's not a proper gator.
    
65. Why was the lettuce embarrassed?Because it saw the salad dressing!
66. Why are gardeners great DJs?They know how to drop the beet.
67. What do you call a garden that’s a total mess? A blooming disaster.
68. A flower shop burst into flames... It was a florist fire.
69. What do you call a tree that's stuck on a maths problem? Stumped.
70. Why does Elton John not like Iceburg lettuce? Because he is more of a Rocket Man.
71. A friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
72. Why are plants bad cheerleaders? Because they're only rooting for themselves.
73. How did the millionaire gardener get rich so quick? He was running a huge pansy scheme.
74. Why is grass so dangerous? Because it's full of blades.
    
75. What do you call a tree that does martial arts? Spruce Lee!
76. I have a bird feeder in the garden. It also works as a cat feeder.
77. What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
78. What game to herbs play at parties? Pass the parsley
79. My wife told me I planted the wrong flowers... oopsie daisy
80. What do you call a homeless snail? A slug.
81. What do you call a tree from another planet? A extra-tree-restrial
82. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Whats up bud!
83. Which vegetable is always shivering? A chilli
84. I started growing some fungi in my garden, but it failed miserably. I guess there is mushroom for improvement.
85. What was the name of the gardener's favourite TV show? Lawn and Order.
86. How do flowers kiss? With their two-lips.
87. Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots.
88. Why don't trees use social media? They’re afraid of being logged out.
89. Why was the cucumber mad? It was in a pickle.
90. Why can’t the flower ride his bike? Because he lost his petals!

Puns for Garden Signs

If you were looking for some puns to create a funny garden sign, perhaps one of these will inspire you!

91. Beware: Plants May Be Listening — Don’t Say "Salad"!
    
92. Beware: The Plants Are Plotting!
93. Beware: High Risk of Falling in Love with Plants!
94. Caution: Garden Gnomes May Be Watching!
95. Caution: Gardeners at ‘Herb’ Work!
96. Caution: Extreme Growth Ahead!
97. Caution: You’re About to Enter the ‘Weed’ Zone!
98. Warning: Photosynthesis in Progress — Do Not Shade!
99. Warning: Plants May Be Armed (with Thorns!)
100. Warning: Lettuce Not Be Disturbed!

That wraps up our list of gardening puns and jokes! We hope this collection brought a smile to your face, thanks for reading, and happy gardening!

More Funny Puns

Want to continue reading funny puns? Try one of our related pun pages below:

• Nature Puns
• Weather Puns
• Animal Puns

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